.
Strike two.
Nice going, Jug, you got him on the hook.
Look at that old skylark. Come on with that old pep.
Come here, you.
I gave you the signal. Now I want you to throw a fast one.
Let me throw my sinkeroo, will you?
Oh, madness, my boy, madness.
This character's a pushover for a fast one on the inside.
- But I just threw that one. - Nothing succeeds like success.
We won two pennants in a row.
We're gonna win another one if you do as I tell you.
I always do what you tell me...
...but this time I got an inner feeling. Batter up.
It's all right, we're deliberating.
- I've always steered you right, haven't I? - Yeah.
- Look where we are. - We're on the threshold of big things.
All right, you guys...
...give you just one minute to resume play or you forfeit the game.
Seeing as you won't let me throw my sinkeroo...
...how about a curve fast on the outside? - We haven't got time for a public forum.
- If the curve makes you happy, throw it. - Oh, now you're talking.
I hope you gentlemen have decided what to throw to me.
What's the difference? You couldn't hit a medicine ball...
...in a revolving door.
All right, Jug, old boy, bend it in.
Hey, where do you think you're going?
After the ball.
It slipped.
- You... - My finger slipped.
- We're sure gonna miss you, Pressure. - Can't you stick around for Elmira?
Much as I like baseball, this place gives me claustrophobia.
Come on, Rusty, you're on deck.
Pressure, listen to me. For the last time, my finger slipped. Will you...?
Hello.
Oh, hello, Leo.
- Been thinking over what I told you? - Yeah, not for me.
- Crashing banks ain't my line. - You're a sucker...
lx-nay, opper-cay, opper-cay, opper-cay.
Where you gonna find 100 G's all in one lump?
Oh, on any bank corner in New York.
Providing you wanna wind up back here in a striped suit.
No, it's too tough, Leo.
- This bank is made out of cheesecake. - Yeah.
The whole layout.
We could carve through with a butter knife.
Sounds great to me.
I'm telling you because I'm figuring on paroling out of here soon.
I could use a smart guy like you.
No, no soap, Leo. I got my future all mapped out.
It's an office with my name on the door. "J. Chalmers Maxwell, Private."
Okay, chump, but see that you keep it private.
I wouldn't want this job kicked around.
Keep in touch with me after you make that gate, Smitty.
We got plans.
- Pressure in on them? - No.
- The lamebrain's going straight. - Straight?
Must be stir-crazy.
- Pressure. What have we got to lose? - Yeah?
If we go and get caught, we're back in time for Elmira.
- You're flannel-brained. - I still think he's got something hot.
Yeah, he's got something hot, all right.
Yeah. A comfortable chair upholstered with wire.
He's safe.
Attaboy, Rusty. Boy, the bases are loaded.
Batter up.
Come on, flannel-brain, you're at bat.
- Who me? Slam it out, Jug.
Wild batter. What are you doing?
Wait a minute, wait a minute, Jug. Don't you try murdering anything.
Now, the bases are loaded. All we need is one run to win.
- What's wrong with a homer? - Nothing, except you ain't DiMaggio.
The situation calls for strategy.
- Batter up. - Coming, Spud.
Go out there and get yourself hit by a pitch ball.
Now, wait a minute, that ball's hard.
Take your base and the winning run is forced in.
- It's still hard. - Jug, it isn't often...
...that the team has called on you for sacrifice.
Don't you want to leave with plaudits of your fellows inmates?
- Sure. - Don't you want a few memories...
...of your last varsity game? - Sure, I do.
- Get in there and fight. - All right, but it's still gonna hurt.
Batter up.
Okay, okay, okay.
Take your base.
What's the idea, pitcher? What did you hit him for?
Why don't you throw him out? We don't hit a batter like that.
All right, come on up.
Come on, let's take him off the field.
You men have discharged your debt to the state...
...and are going back into the world free men.
The sweetest words I heard in two years.
I urgently recommend that you go out and meet society...
...as honest, God-fearing citizens.
Well, you have my hand on that, warden.
There's only one thing. I'm prepared to meet society...
...but is society prepared to meet me?
- How do you mean? - Well...
Not that I'm complaining, mind you...
...but in a world where a man is judged by his appearance...
...this is hardly the garment to embark on a new life.
You should've thought of that before selling stock in a mythical company.
Before you got yourself mixed up in slot machines, pinballs, other dubious rackets.
Oh, burned bridges, warden. My past is behind me.
Right now, I'm ready to work my fingers to the bone just for rent and groceries.
I want my little girl to have things.
To be able to hold her chin up when she sees her daddy.
I want to look the world in the face again.
I understand, Pressure.
I'm sorry, warden.
But, you know, what I'm trying to say is:
Maybe you have some old, abandoned garment I could wear.
You know, something to make me presentable.
Well, I like, for instance, this pinstripe you have on.
We're about the same size. It isn't for me, warden.
It's for that little girl back home.
I'm thinking of her face when she sees me.
A man just released from prison...
...shuffling along in a shoddy, tattered suit.
I don't know how you do it, Pressure.
Well, the suit was easy. The tie was tough.
You sure got a gift of gab.
Jug, my boy, you can put it in a nutshell: The man who sounds well, does well.
The man who looks well does better.
- If I could only meet an overcoat my size... - Hope he's got a friend.
Denny's gonna meet us. Maybe I ought to get my suit pressed.
It doesn't make any difference to Denny.
After that long talk you gave...
...about not wanting to meet your girl in shoddy garments.
I tell wardens one thing, what I tell you is something else.
Hey, Pressure.
Why didn't she ever write to me in prison?
Maybe it's because she knows you can't read.
- I never thought of that. Pressure.
- Denny. - Oh, Pressure, darling.
Oh, I don't even wanna let go of you to see how you look.
Let go of him and look at me. Remember?
- Jug, come here. - Oh, boy.
You kissed me like a mother.
- Oh, you're sweet, Jug. - Tell me, did you miss us?
Well, only seven days a week.
- Weepy's waiting outside. - Weepy?
- Sounds like a reunion, don't it? - He brought me over in his new chariot.
- I'd like to see. - You know how I got here?
I told the boss I was expecting an out-of-town rumba prospect.
- Still slaving at that fallen-arch factory? - I won't be if I'm not back in 20.
Honey, after next week, you'll never go back.
I got something cooking now that'll put you in mink and sable.
Well, never mind where it puts me. I'm only concerned where it puts you.
Oh, baby, you're looking at a changed man.
Nothing but straight and narrow. Strictly legitimate from here in.
Well, come on.
Taxi.
Pressure, I'm so sorry I have to rush off, but Weepy's parked down the street.
Well, okay, honey, don't you worry about a thing, now. I'll pick you up tonight.
I got plans, big plans, for you, for the boys, for J. Chalmers Maxwell.
- Pressure, do me a favor. - Anything.
- Drop the "Chalmers" out of your name. - But, baby, that's what gives me class.
That's what gives you larceny. Alexis Dance Studio, 43rd and 7th.
- Now I know where it is. Bye-bye.
- So long. Goodbye. - Goodbye.
- She's a great little girl. - Yeah.
Every time I see her, my heart goes pitty-pat, pitty-pat, pitty-pat.
Oh, no, forget it. Denny isn't falling for any ape who's tutoring ended in reform school.
The way you talk, you'd think she was a born princess or something.
I happen to know she's Dutch Costello's daughter.
Well, Dutch Costello met a very untimely end in the phone booth.
To all interested parties, I'm her daddy.
All right, you're her daddy, I ain't gonna argue.
Hey, fellas.
Hey, fellas, a gorgeous silver fox. Four bucks, it's hot.
- Weepy. - Holy smokes, Pressure.
- Weepy, how are you? You look great. - Hey, pretty swanky.
Oh, just keeping body and soul together, trying to dispose of genuine silver foxes.
Say, they're beautiful. How can you do it for 4 bucks?
Fella over at 2nd Avenue makes them for a buck and a half.
- Strictly peanuts. - Would you sell me this for $2?
- I wanna give it to a friend as a gift. - Two bucks. Give me that.
- Oh, there goes my profit. - I'm sorry.
- Come on, we've got a lot to talk over. - I got just the place.
- Get in the car. - All right.
I got plans, fabulous plans, for all of us.
- Oh, Jug, that overcoat. Just about my size. - Can I keep the cane, Pressure?
Now, here's the setup.
This dog track is in Florida. It's in pretty good shape.
Needs a little remodeling, and a little of my organizational genius.
What do we got to go to Florida for?
Why can't we crack that bank Leo told us about?
Because, you cork-head, banks ain't made out of cellophane.
- Florida ain't no good for my sinus. - Neither is that joint up on the Hudson.
Now, listen.
We can buy into this track for 25 grand.
Two dozen dogs, mechanical rabbit.
Boy, milk and honey.
It's legitimate, it's legal, it's lucrative.
It's wonderful, Pressure. But 25 G's is a lot of coleslaw.
- Where we gonna glom onto it? - Well, I got that all doped out.
We're selling the assets of the North American Nickel Company...
...and all those obsolete slot machines we own.
A guy in Kansas City is taking them off our hands.
This is gonna be hard for me to spill...
...but we ain't got more slot machines. - What?
Well, you see, while you boys was away at camp...
- What happened? - Do you really want me to tell you?
- Well, what happened? - Well...
- What happened? - Ten cops came in with hatchets one day...
...and all they left was two cherries and a tulip.
They chopped up our slot machines?
- Like hamburger. - Why, this is criminal.
It isn't the machines so much...
...it's the wanton destruction of private property.
What are we kidding ourselves for, Pressure? It's the 25 grand.
Hey, fellas, let's crack that bank on 6th Avenue, huh?
You say that once again, I'm gonna crack that skull of yours on 7th Avenue.
We got exactly 10 days to rake up the dough.
Say, maybe Jug has got something.
- After all, what is banks for? - Yeah.
That's it. That's it.
Weepy, you've thrown me to the most sensational...
...the most awe-inspiring idea I've ever had.
- You mean, we're gonna blow that bank? - Shut up.
We're going into a legitimate business.
What's to prevent us from borrowing it legitimately?
Yeah, but then you got to sign papers.
- The minute you sign, they got you. - Bank loans are the backbone of the nation.
- But what bank is gonna give us 25 grand? - Any bank, even that bank on 6th Avenue.
- Come on. - Weepy...
...I don't like the idea of going into a bank through the front door.
Come on.
That's a swell picture of Louie, ain't it?
Well, it is.
Oh, good afternoon. I'm Mr. Buchanan.
Glad to know you, Buchanan. Maxwell is the name.
- I'd like to make a loan. - That shouldn't be difficult.
- Come in and sit down, Mr. Maxwell. - Thank you.
- Smoke? - Thank you.
- My compliments. - After dinner.
May I help you, sir?
N... No, thanks. I'm just looking around.
This dog track's better than a government bond.
Hundred percent return on the dollar.
- I'm prepared to cut the bank 10 percent. - But we only take six, Mr. Maxwell.
Oh.
Well, look here, Buchanan...
...you play ball with me, and you'll get the other four.
Personally.
That's very amusing, Mr. Maxwell.
May I help you, sir?
- Yeah. What's in the cellar? - Our vaults.
Vaults.
- They keep all that cabbage down there? - Certainly.
If I owned the bank, I wouldn't be able to sleep nights.
Look here, Buchanan, this whole thing doesn't add up.
The only people who borrow money are people who have money.
An honest citizen comes in with a proposition and gets a quick brush.
My dear Mr. Maxwell, all I'm trying to say is...
Yeah, I know, collateral.
That's the only way you can avail yourself of our funds.
Brother, that's what you think.
Making business in the back.
- Sabotaging American industry. - You said it.
We gave them their chance. They wouldn't come across...
...we'll have to borrow our way. - Now you're talking, boss.
We don't need help from no banks. We can stand on our own two feet.
It's like the Western Front around here.
- What are they doing, building a bridge? - No, the subway, you sap. You clumsy ox.
It's getting so a guy needs life insurance to walk across the street.
Let's get in and have a cup of coffee.
Gentlemen, can I show you something? Hosiery, lampshades, electric toasters?
- We have a 12-piece dinner set. - What happens if you get sick in here?
- All we want is a cup of coffee. - Hobart. Front.
- Coffee. - Coffee.
Three coffees.
Right away.
Listen, this is a pushover.
Leo told us the vault was in the cellar and it's put together with glue.
I ain't had my hands on a vault in close to a decade.
Oh, cut it, cut it, you goons. None of that Jesse James stuff.
This situation calls for strategy.
Here you are, the finest coffee in town. Scientifically blended, fresh every half hour.
Did we ask you?
Blow.
What's the angle, Pressure?
You notice anything while we were coming across the street?
- Yeah, just mud. - Well, take a look.
What do you see?
- A bank. - Next to the bank.
- Hm. Looks like a luggage store. - Brilliant.
Now, the way I figure...
...it's barely possible that the cellar of the luggage store faces the vault.
Let's quit horsing around. Why can't we blow that thing like...?
Like three gentlemen?
Why don't you blow your brains out? Go ahead, Pressure.
Now, here's the angle.
I'm going to the shop and have a talk with the owner.
In five minutes, the gas-meter man comes, goes to the cellar, and has a look around.
Yeah, but where do we get a gas-meter man?
Come with me.
Here.
Hey, I'm allergic to badges.
You are now working for the gas company.
Now, don't forget, in five minutes.
That will be 65 cents, please...
...for the coffee, the flashlight and the badge.
Interested in the bank?
Here, Mr. Bigelow, is a newcomer in our featherweight line.
The Hotchkiss foldaway. It's gonna be backed by national advertising...
...the greatest campaign in all luggage history.
- I don't know if I can guarantee delivery. - Why not?
Because the factories are all...
- I don't believe I caught your name. - Bachrach. Sam Bachrach.
- I own the music shop across the street. - Yeah? Maybe you got a customer.
- No. - Excuse me, a customer.
Yes, sir.
- What can I show you? - Nothing at the moment, my good friend.
- Just let me browse around. - Certainly. Go ahead, help yourself.
- You'll find many interesting things here. - Don't worry, I won't overlook an item.
I don't want to waste your time, Jeff, but the way the street is torn up, I...
Well, business is so bad, I was wondering if you couldn't take back some luggage.
Your stock's all right, the trouble is you don't dramatize it.
However, I'll give you a breather. I'll pop in next week.
All right.
Oh, just a suggestion, sir.
Don't overlook the Hotchkiss pocket bantam.
You've got it in stock. It has four flaps, two zippers...
...space for calling cards, driver's license, stamps, keys and a pencil. Show it to him.
It comes in English morocco and French alligator.
And Persian cat.
- It also presses your pants. - Yeah.
- I... I beg your pardon, sir. - Okay, bud.
- Look at your meter. - Right down there in the cellar.
- Snug little stand you got here. - Thank you, sir. Here's that pocket bantam.
- Well, don't you have anything in pin seal? - Oh, yes. Over here.
A place like this fascinates me. Always been interested in leather.
Spent two years on an alligator farm. Must be in my blood.
Now, here's the pin seal, a nice roomy one.
Yes, but don't you have something with gold trimming?
- Oh, of course. - How do you do?
- I'll have to ask you to come to the case.
Now, here's a wallet trimmed in gold.
- Oh, I'm sorry, I dropped it. - That's all right.
Yes. Yes, sir, all my life I've had a dream.
Always said to myself when I retire, I'm gonna open a leather store like this.
Well, it's not an easy business, sir.
Homer, did you hear what the man said?
He wants to buy a luggage store.
Well, that's fine.
Crocodile?
- No, alligator. - Oh, domestic.
Tell me, Mr. Bigelow, that's your name, isn't it?
Yes, sir, Homer Bigelow.
Mr. Homer Bigelow, if someone came to you...
...and offered to buy your place, how much would you ask?
Well, I've never given it a thought.
A thousand dollars cash, and 3000 over a year. It's a steal.
- But Sam... - He has to vacate, doctor's orders.
He has to go to Florida for his...
- His health. - Lungs?
No, heart.
Well, that's too bad, I'm sorry to hear that.
- Yes, that's what the doctor tells me. - Well, really.
Oh, you...? You really want to buy this shop?
Yes, if we can negotiate a satisfactory deal.
Well, a thousand dollars cash, I might be persuaded.
You see, I've been here a long time. Goodwill is worth something...
...and the fixtures and my stock. - And a good lease.
- Yes, indeed. Thousand dollars, huh? - It's a bargain.
Of course, there are also a number of unpaid bills.
And a mortgage. You'll have to take care of them.
Yes, that sounds like a reasonable sum. Well, it's worth thinking about.
Tempting idea. Yes, indeed, very tempting.
Oh, what about this wallet?
Oh, that? You better hold it till tomorrow.
We might be discussing something more important than the purchase of a wallet.
Fascinating business. Good day, gentlemen.
Good day.
- You think he'll come back? - If he does, he must be crazy.
Gentlemen, I have some news for you.
- We're going into the luggage business. - Yeah? For how much?
One thousand dollars, a bargain. How's the cellar?
Oh, a natural. We can tunnel our way under and spend Christmas in the bank vault.
Of course, this ain't none of my business, but where we gonna get a G?
Well, I've given that some thought too.
Oh, tell me, Weepy, how long have you had that vehicle?
Oh, just about a...
Oh, no. No, you don't, Pressure, that car's all I got.
- Besides, it's only good for 500. - Yeah, that's right.
Let me see, it's six years now since we worked that hit-and-settle game, isn't it?
Yeah, just about... Hey, wait a minute. I ain't gonna get hit by no limousine.
As I recall, the accident happened at 1 and we collected at 3.
Pressure, have a heart, them new streamlined jobs is murder.
Now, Jug, it isn't often I call on you for a sacrifice.
- Pressure, listen to me, will you...? - Get in there.
Corner of Park Avenue and 57th Street.
Read all about it. Extra. Paper.
Read all about it here. Extra. Paper.
Final edition. Read all about it. Extra. Paper.
Paper. Extra. Paper.
Extra. Read all about it. Extra. Paper.
Extra. Paper. Paper, sir?
Pressure.
I can't do it, Pressure, it's suicide.
You used to take four dives a week.
That's when I was training. Let Weepy, he's in shape.
- No, that's not my line. - It's a pipe if you know how.
Take a side bounce off the fender. You spot the big job coming down...
...you make like you ain't looking, you step off like this, watch.
Oh, you poor man. Are you hurt?
This is an outrage.
I witnessed this entire catastrophe.
As a public-spirited citizen, I protest this savage attack on an innocent pedestrian.
- Let me see your license. - I saw the whole thing, sir.
- Get the gentleman's hat and overcoat. - Oh, thank you.
It worked.
- There you are, Mr. Maxwell. - Here you are.
- Don't spend it all in one hotel. - Thank you, Mr. Maxwell.
- That's very kind of you. - Yeah.
Gosh.
- I'm gonna miss the old place. - You'll forget about it...
...when you're lolling on those sunny sands in Florida, you lucky dog, you.
Well, goodbye, Mr. Bigelow, don't forget to drop us a card.
- About that inventory... - Now, look, Mr. Bigelow.
I study human nature and I can tell an honest man.
The stock is everything you represented.
Thank you very much. Oh, about the burglar alarm.
- You'll find it behind the counter... - Yes, we know all about those.
- Oh, I'm so glad you do. Well, goodbye. - Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
Oh, I want to wish you and your partners...
...the very best of luck in your new venture.
- Thank you. - Goodbye.
- Well, goodbye, Mr. Bugelow. - Goodbye, Mr. Bigelow.
Well...
Imagine, I've been 20 years in the luggage business and I haven't got a bag.
- Oh, well. - Well, with our compliments.
- Oh, thank you. Godspeed, and have a good time.
- So long. - So long.
- I thought the old jerk would never go. - Well, it's signed, sealed and delivered.
- And below us lies the promised land. - Let's go take a look at it, huh?
- El Dorado. - We can blow right through here.
Listen, jerk, this is the wall we're breaking here.
There's the bank vault. If I listen to you, we'll finish in the subway.
We're not breaking any wall. This job's got to be handled with finesse.
Who's that?
How you gonna get in the bank with a wall in the way?
The art of digging. We tunnel under the floor and attack the problem from below.
Give me dynamite, we'll be out of here like that.
Yeah, and like that, we'll be back in solitary.
I bet this wall is just crawling with burglar alarms.
Now, let me see, just about 10 feet and we'll be under the wall.
- We can start digging right here. - How we gonna get the dirt out?
What do you think that luggage is for?
Come on, Jug, take your coat off, roll your sleeves, and we'll get to work.
- We want to get in before Christmas. - What am I gonna dig with, my fingernails?
Oh, yes, the implements. Mm-hm.
Oh, there's a shovel.
How am I gonna get through that with this?
- Weepy, run out and get a pickax. - Won't that look suspicious?
If anybody asks any questions, just tell them we're building goodwill.
If we do this my way, we'll be out in a half-hour.
You wanna get back for that Elmira game, don't you?
Don't do that, it reminds me of the rock pile.
The tea was lovely, but I better be getting back to my shop.
- Afternoon, Oscar. - I can't understand it.
- I can't understand it, it don't make sense. - What's bothering you now?
How can anybody buy a luggage store across from another luggage store...
...on a street that looks like a ditch? - He said leather was his hobby.
To me, it's slow starvation. To J. Chalmers Maxwell, it's a hobby.
Oh, look. Look, that must be one of his assistants.
Do you mean to tell me that you don't carry hatboxes at all?
- Just the one in the window. - You told me that wasn't for sale.
- That's right. - What kind of shop is this anyway?
How do you expect people to carry their hats?
- You can get a paper bag at the market. - Paper bag at the market. Such impudence.
I'll never come in this shop again.
Well, one satisfied customer.
We'll never get anywhere with dames like that.
- Did you get it? - Yeah, here.
You stay here and watch the store. If customers come, brush them off.
What's the harm of making a sale? After all, it's velvet.
Well, keep it legitimate, you're not selling hot furs.
That's a respectable racket, my old man got 10 years for that.
That's gratitude for you.
Pressure, let's quit fooling around and blow this up like gentlemen.
You want to send an engraved invitation to the police?
It's all right for you to talk, I'm digging.
Come on, now, start picking.
I'll give you a hand.
Don't strain yourself, will you?
I ought to muzzle your arm. Watch out what you're doing.
- Good morning. - Good morning.
- What's on your mind? - Jeff Randolph, Hotchkiss representative.
A bag for every purse and vice versa, get it?
- We don't want any. - We're here to serve you.
Now, as the new owner of this splendid little store...
...Hotchkiss wants to welcome you to its big, happy family. You are the new owner?
- Well, sort of a partner. - And your name is Maxwell?
- No, Maxwell ain't here, I'm Davis. - Glad to know you, Mr. Davis.
Now, here in this briefcase lies the answer to all of your problems.
- Yeah? What's in it? - The greatest spring line in 30 years.
The talk of the industry.
- Oh, we're not buying any stuff. - Better get your orders in now.
I don't know if I can guarantee delivery.
The factory's working night and day trying to meet orders.
- It is? - Yes, sir.
I wouldn't want this to get around, but you know what I'm gonna do?
You're just starting. I am gonna try to sneak you in ahead of my other customers.
- On the level? - Yes, sir. Now, look at this.
Have you ever seen a picnic hamper like that before?
- Looks like a whole doggone kitchen. - Thirty-seven sophisticated accessories...
...not including the collapsible drinking cup.
- How do you like that? - I'll put you down for a dozen.
How are you for collar boxes?
This one here has the platinum pigskin top exclusive with Hotchkiss.
Room for eight collars, studs and tiepins.
They'll sell like hotcakes. About three dozen?
- Well, I... - Two dozen. Now, here.
Here is the sweetheart of the whole spring line.
A combination ladies' handbag and umbrella. Snappy jewel colors.
Oatmeal, eggplant, mustard, Daubigny, Devonshire, clubber, blubber, blabber...
Sounds like baby talk to me. When does this stuff get here?
I couldn't promise that for eight or 10 weeks.
Okay, send over a couple dozen of them umbrellas.
- Fine, fine. Now, how's the trunk situation? - Let me take a look.
- Let me see what we got in stock. - We have seven new models.
- Yeah? Well, I can use one of each. - Oh, boy.
Now, how about hip flasks, backgammon boards and monogram belts?
- Sure, send them along, I can use them. - Fine, yes, sir. Now, if you'll just initial that.
Thank you, thank you very much, Mr. Davis.
Skip it, I'll see you in a couple months.
Yes, sir. Say, a man like you can do a lot for 6th Avenue.
- Goodbye. - Well, goodbye.
- See you on my next trip. - So long.
- Goodbye.
- How can I service, sir? - I'd like a bag.
A bag? Let me show you the sweetheart of the whole spring line.
The oatmeal number. It's right up your alley, jack. Ten clams.
No, I... Well, that's more than I wanted to pay.
It comes in 10 delicious colors.
Eggplant, mustard, ketchup, horseradish and succotash.
Say, just what do you think you're doing?
- The customer wishes a bag. - This one's too expensive.
- I wanted one... - Take it, you won the lucky number.
- What number? - One millionth customer to come in...
...since it was founded by my grandfather in 1911.
- Thanks. - Don't thank me, thank my grandfather.
- All right, but I didn't expect... - Our compliments, son.
Look here, I told you we can't have people hanging around.
I gotta make a pass at salesmanship.
Well, make a pass at that shovel. Come on, take your coat off and give Jug a hand.
- What's the idea? - Oh, protection.
Well, get rid of it.
All we need is one of these jerks spot that cannon.
- Well, where will I put it? - Well, anywhere.
Put it in the cash register, nobody ever goes there.
You must be Mr. Maxwell.
I'm Mademoiselle Gloria.
I'm sorry, mademoiselle, no post cards today.
No, no, no, I'm your neighbor. That's my lingerie shop next door.
This is your assistant, isn't it? How do you do?
You see, I know all about you, Mr. Bachrach told me everything.
- Oh, he did, did he? - Yes.
Except he described you as much older than you really are.
Well, I guess you're as young as you feel.
Oh, yes. Toujours jeune, toujours gaie, I always say.
Oh, yes, yes, of course. Yes, I'll give it to you wholesale.
Oh, bless your heart. We're very sociable around here.
We generally have afternoon tea together.
Tea. How lovely.
It's my turn today. I'd be very happy to have you drop in if you're not too busy.
I... I can't make it today. Inventory. Now, if you'll excuse me.
Oh, yes. Here's my card. I'd be glad to give your wife a discount on any lingerie or hose.
Well, I'm a bachelor.
- Well, what a coincidence, I'm a widow. - Oh, yes, I can believe that too.
- What happened? What did you do? - I struck water, I think.
- Well, sit on it. - What?
Sit on it, sit on it! I'll get Pressure.
Weepy. Weepy. Weepy, hurry. Hurry.
Hey, Pressure.
- That pipe... - You poor boy, you're dripping wet.
Always happens.
Always happens when... When we're testing waterproof luggage.
I'm sorry to see you go, but this is an emergency.
Well, I wish you'd drop in and look over my lingerie sometime.
- You drop in sometime, look over my trunks. - Oh, thank you.
- What happened? - Jug cracked the pipe.
The baboon.
You fathead. Why don't you watch what you're doing?
- I thought I hit the safe. - The safe is next door in the bank.
Here, give me your handkerchief, will you? Here, use that, will you?
- Here, you better take my coat. - Yeah, give that to me, will you?
I'll go get a plumber.
Hey, what are you trying to do, broadcast it?
Get over to the hardware store and bring tape.
It's that pickax, you can't aim it straight.
What we need is a drill.
I'd like to drill through your head.
Maybe you don't know it, but there are people upstairs.
A guy can dig in his cellar, can't he?
Not when he's got a record in every pen in the country and there's a bank next door.
If that's that dame, I'm gonna conk her on the head with a trunk.
Every time you turn around, there's a block party upstairs.
Never mind, just wrap your mitts around that hole till Weepy gets back.
Hey, Pressure, this reminds me of a fairy tale I once heard...
...about a little boy who put his finger in the dike and saved a whole country.
Well, try your head.
Hey, tell Weepy he's gonna have to get his coat pressed, will you?
Mind waiting on me?
Hello, Denny.
Hello, Pressure.
You're a little damp. You been swimming?
Oh, this?
Pipe broke downstairs. I just sent for a plumber.
Well, how do you like our new establishment?
- So this is the big-scale enterprise. - Yeah. This is it, baby.
Leather. Always been interested in leather, ever since I was a tyke.
Come on, Pressure. Spill it.
J. Chalmers Maxwell doesn't buy a 2-by-4 luggage shop...
...because he's crazy about cowhide. Now, what's the angle?
Oh, honey, you do me an injustice.
Weren't you mumbling something a couple days ago about a dog track?
Unfinished business. What a memory you have.
The dog track's still on my agenda, but this is but a means to an end.
Pressure, I don't know what's come over you, but I like it.
I knew you would, honey.
And don't mind what I said. I think it's wonderful.
- What's that? - It's Jug.
- He's building a hutch. - What?
A leather hutch. You know, a place to keep perishable leathers.
- If it's Jug I'd better peek in and say hello. - No.
You'd better not. He's very busy now. One-track mind. Just leave him alone.
Look, why don't you just run along? We'll all get together tonight.
Okay, it's a date.
And anyway, I wanna hear more about the big merchant prince.
You will, Denny.
All right, boys, let's get it unloaded.
All right, stack it right here, boys.
- Mr. Maxwell? - Yes?
Allow me to congratulate you, sir.
By a fortunate turn of events, I was able to sidetrack a shipment to Gombel's.
- Of what? - The Hotchkiss line, direct from factory.
And just in time for the Christmas trade.
- Who ordered this stuff? - Your partner, a very astute business man.
- My partner? - I got the tape, Pressure.
Hey, come here. Did you order this junk?
Yeah. But he said it wouldn't be delivered for three months.
What have you got in that skull? Mashed potatoes?
You don't seem to understand. I sidetracked an entire order.
Sidetrack it out of here.
Hotchkiss doesn't do business that way, Maxwell.
Well, Maxwell doesn't do business that way, Hotchkiss.
- I didn't mean it. - Shut up. Get downstairs with that tape.
Are you gonna clear this off my premises or must I call the street-cleaning department?
- Well... - But, Pressure...
...these things are beautiful. Anybody that loves leather knows that.
There's a young lady who's as smart as she is pretty.
This will add class to your establishment.
Feel the texture of that Gladstone bag.
I know. It's wonderful. Don't you think so?
Well, sure. Sure, honey.
But, look, I'm overstocked.
An order like this would upset my whole budget system.
Oh, short of cash, eh?
Well, that's just when a Hotchkiss budget plan shows to its best advantage.
You've got 30, 60, 90 days. Three full months in which to pay.
- Three months. - From now until March.
Well, why didn't you say that before?
Oh, sure, three months. Well, that's more than enough to...
You leave the stuff here and maybe I can make it move.
Thank you. An order like this is a feather in my cap.
Don't mention it. You come back in March and maybe I'll have another for you.
- Thanks for the good turn. - Oh, it was nothing, really.
I'm going uptown, could I drop you somewhere?
Wait a minute. Denny was just going that way, weren't you?
Since I'm being kicked out, I might as well accept the offer.
Nothing like a lift from a nice, clean-cut, young go-getter.
On your way now, children. And remember, no one-armed driving.
Goodbye, Pressure.
Hey.
Who was that just went out with Denny?
Some creep named Hotchkiss I'm gonna carve into pieces...
...if he doesn't keep his snozzle out.
I told you to keep that fur-bearing torso off the premises.
- But I'm hungry. - Get down in the cage.
I'll throw you a piece of meat later.
You treat me like I was a slave. I've been relieved.
It'll be a relief when this is over. The three of us are gonna spend the day digging.
You better get me something to put more dirt in.
All right. Here.
Are you kidding?
Seven million people in New York and you'd think they had no place else to go.
Hey, can't you read, mister? We're out to lunch.
Do you sell luggage here?
No. We just keep the merchandise around for laughs.
What do you got for a mother-in-law?
What's the occasion?
She's leaving us.
Well, how about this?
- This looks all right. - Nine seventy-five.
No, I think I like the handle on this one better.
Nine seventy-five.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Why don't you try jumping up and down on it?
I think I'll take this one after all.
Nine seventy-five.
No. On second thought, I like the brown one.
Nine seventy-five.
I want it wrapped, it's a present.
- Here. - Haven't you any Christmas paper?
Oh, sure.
There, 9.75.
- No change? - Defense tax.
That's not a very neat package.
Well, what do you expect for 9.75? Gold leaf?
Go on, now. Scram out of here.
This is powerful stuff.
Been addicted to it since I was 3.
If sodas are your only vice, I've got a question to ask you.
- Speak. - Will you marry me?
Look, I'm not kidding. I'm serious.
I've only known you 15 minutes. Why did you wait so long to ask me?
I'm trying to save a year of your life, handing it to you on a silver platter.
I generally like to see what's on the platter.
Well, it's all around you.
Look, a fella meets a girl. The old combustion goes to work.
He finally gets her number. But does he call her right away? No.
He waits a week because he doesn't wanna seem too anxious.
Then, he finally does call her, but she's got a date. Why?
She doesn't wanna seem too anxious. Three months go by and nothing happens.
- Why? - They both don't wanna seem too anxious.
Oh.
- Go ahead. You've got me panting. - All right. Say we finally do get together.
Now it really begins. The buildup, I mean.
Flowers, candy, perfume.
Smoky nightclubs, necking in a parked car.
A cop's searchlight flashing in your face. "Hey, buddy, none of that around here."
- Three o'clock in the morning. - Smeared all over with lipstick.
- Four hours' sleep. - Night after night.
Well, he's right.
By the time a guy gets married, he's exhausted.
His nerves are frayed. He barks at people and snaps at his wife.
- Sounds like you've had a bad time. - I'm a man of quick decision.
I saw you and said to myself:
"There is a girl with all the proper specifications."
Pretty, intelligent...
...sense of humor, good health. - Would you like to examine my teeth?
We could go through this year I've been talking about...
...but it would be a sheer waste of energy.
You're the girl for me. I'm the guy for you.
To save ourselves a lot of wear and tear, I'm asking you now, will you marry me?
Well, to save myself a lot of wear and tear, I'm telling you now, no.
Oh.
Shampoo, Mr. Maxwell?
No, just give me my check and let me get out of here.
- Next. I've had enough beefing...
...to give me the creeps.
Instead of whining, why don't you do something?
I've written so many letters to city hall, they keep a special file.
City hall. That's what you get for dealing with a middleman.
Want things done? Go to the contractor. Put the fear of God into him.
I know that whole setup from experience.
Oh, pardon me, gentlemen. One of my associates.
If you've had so much experience, how about putting it to work for the street?
But I'm not complaining.
Good day, gentlemen.
Mr. Maxwell, your check.
Oh, charge it.
- I got that pneumatic drill. - Where?
In an alley up on the next block.
- Had to wait for the WPA to knock off. - Did you do what I told you?
- I got it fixed up like a Christmas tree. - What are you waiting for? Bring it over.
Oh, I can't, boss. Denny's in there.
She is, is she?
Pressure, while we're waiting, do you think you might give me a formal knockdown...
...to that manicurist? She looks love-starved.
Go on, get back in the alley. Make love to that drill.
Keep it out of sight.
I'll give you the all-clear signal in 15 minutes.
Sure, honey.
Pardon me, I guess we're sort of neighbors. I...
A sidewalk Casanova, huh? Beat it, bud.
Gee, that was a quick romance.
- Pressure. - Hello, Denny baby.
- How's my little girl? - Fine.
What's the matter? They lay you off at the rumba mill?
No, I'm not on this afternoon.
I thought I'd come here and give you a hand.
Oh, honey. This is no place for a woman, hauling all this dusty luggage around.
We've got three able-bodied men here. I want my chick to go get some fresh air.
Now, not another word.
We'll all get together tonight over a 3-inch steak.
We'll make an evening of it. You hop over to Black's Ticket Office...
...and pick up two on the aisle. Any show in town.
- Lay it out. I'll pay you back tonight. - Pressure...
...l've just been down in the cellar talking to Jug.
Oh, great boy, Jug. A little short on the intellect, but...
What did he tell you?
He didn't have to tell me anything. He's digging into the bank.
Did he say that?
Why, that stupid, blundering...
Pressure, why are you doing it?
You promised me.
Well, now, now, look, honey. Now, please don't start jumping on me.
Well, all right, now, so we are busting into the bank.
It's just to raise some capital. I tried to get money legitimately.
- You gave me your word. - My word's still good. I never welshed yet.
Now, as soon as I get that dough, it's the straight and narrow.
That dog track in Florida.
- My little girl in mink. - Don't suppose there's chance for a slip-up.
- Of course not. - I know.
All the details have been worked out carefully.
That's right.
Good afternoon. Holiday greetings from Hotchkiss.
Hello, Mr. Maxwell. Hello, Denny.
- Hello. - I told you not to come back till March.
That was my intention. But I got to thinking about that order I sold you...
...and I began to feel kind of guilty.
Jeff, Pressure and I are discussing something personal.
Would you mind waiting outside?
Sure. I just wanna talk to your dad for a minute.
I've got some wonderful merchandising ideas. I can make this stock of yours zoom.
Look, Denny. After all, the boy's trying to cooperate.
Now, I tell you what, son. You take Denny for a walk and try them out on her.
- She's got a great head on her shoulders. - I'll be glad to.
- But she's none too receptive to my ideas. - Well, if they'll help business, she'll listen.
I gave her a couple of tickets to a show tonight. I'm gonna be tied up.
- Why don't you kids take it in together? - Well, that'll be swell, Mr. Maxwell.
Goodbye, Pressure. Thanks for the brushoff.
- Oh, honey... - Don't apologize, darling.
I'm sure I can help you out of that hole you're in.
Thanks, Mr. Maxwell. See you later.
She went out with that guy again, I saw her.
If I were a man of violence, I'd beat your brains out, if you had any.
What's the idea of shooting off your mouth?
- Who, me? - Yes, you.
- You popped off to Denny about the bank. - She came down the cellar.
What'd you want me to tell her, I was making mud pies?
With all the talent floating around, I gotta be saddled with you for this.
If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have no hole.
I feel like a beaver.
- You look like one. - What happens while I'm digging?
Some clerk goes out with the woman I'm amorous about.
We're all in this deal together. You do the digging, I'll do the thinking.
- What's the matter with Weepy? - Weepy's been out heisting a drill.
Duck downstairs and I'll give him the all clear.
All right.
Maxwell...
...we've been talking over what you said.
And I think it's a simply brilliant idea.
We picked you to lead the delegation to this contractor.
- What contractor? - McCarthy, doing the work on the street.
You sounded off in the shop. You're the man to get something done.
You talk like a man who knows what it is with politics.
Look, do you mind if I attend to my business? I've got a lot of work to do.
After all, it means as much to you as it does to us.
But I haven't got time to go haggling with contractors.
Oh, please, Mr. Maxwell. We need you because you're so forceful.
I was telling Mr. Bachrach you should have been a senator.
Senator? Governor.
If that street isn't fixed, we'll all be bankrupt.
- Yes? Mr. McCarthy?
- Yes? - Maxwell is the name.
What's on your mind?
Two blocks of ripped-up thoroughfare unfit for human habitation.
Certainly unfit for these merchants to transact their business.
I'm referring, sir, to that project on our street.
A slur on civic beauty and a smudge on your integrity.
Is that what you brought me out here for?
These good citizens look forward all year to one event, Christmas.
That's the only business boom they have. Unless that street is fixed...
...within three weeks, I'm taking this up with the mayor.
Now, Mr. Maxwell, you must remember that I've been in business for 25 years.
There are many reasons for this street being unfinished.
Labor problems, defense priority...
Well, there are even more good reasons...
...why you'd be smart to finish the job right away.
Let's go inside.
You and I can talk it over personally, McCarthy.
Excuse us, folks. Come in.
Who knows? Maybe there are still miracles.
Aren't you bluffing a little bit? What do you know about that contract?
Now, listen. The condition of the street doesn't bother me one way or the other.
- But I don't understand. - Now, listen, pal.
As far as the spiel outside was concerned, forget it.
I was trying to pacify that bunch of yokels.
- But you told me that if I... - Relax, relax.
What's a torn-up street between friends?
You just go along your merry way.
Oh, and happy New Year.
Oh, Dan.
Get me the superintendent on that number 12 project.
- Sure. What's up? - There's something cooking...
...and I don't want to be in the middle.
It was simply wonderful, Mr. Maxwell.
You gotta put it on the line for those babies.
Excuse me, I've got to make a call.
We'll wait for you.
Yeah. It's downstairs, all right. But you'd better get back in a hurry.
- The store's crawling with customers. - Get them out. I'll be back in 15 minutes.
- Step on it. Clerk.
- May I have some service? - Yes, ma'am.
- I'll take these. - Nine seventy-five each.
- The tag says six and quarter. - Nine seventy-five each.
- I thought this was a dollar sale. - I don't know nothing about no sale.
You're a fraud. You advertise one thing, then jack up the prices.
I'll never do business in here again.
That suits me fine, lady.
Hey, Weepy. - Yeah?
Take a look at them stiffs walking around with signs on their backs.
- Holy smokes, no wonder. - Pickets, huh?
No, sandwich men.
Do you think I could get a Swiss cheese on rye? I'm starving.
I'll take care of this.
Hey. This is private property. Come on, move along.
- Ain't you the guy having the sale? - I don't know about no sale.
Come on, break it up.
- Hey, yeah, but I got... - Break it up.
- Who do you think you're shoving around? - Get going.
- I heard you. - Get out of here. Why...
Get it right on top of it, huh?
- You bet. - Okay.
Thank you. That's fine. Thanks.
Okay, bud. That's all for today.
How about once more around? It's all yours at half price.
No. We got all we need. Just put yours right on top of those, will you?
We do this again, I'll look you up.
Thank you.
You got your first taste of the Randolph super, make-it-up-on-the-volume principle.
Super's the word. The store's been jammed all afternoon.
Honey, I got a million of them. The girl who gets me gets a dynamo.
Okay, dynamo.
We have to go someplace, figure out tomorrow's campaign.
Got one all lined up. We can talk it over with your dad.
I told you I don't want Pressure in on this.
It's between you and me.
Why keep it a dark secret? Merchandising and exploitation go hand in hand.
I have to do this my way.
All I can tell you is it's important to me to keep that store busy every minute.
Randolph, you're the tool of a beautiful dame.
Get in the car.
It's a miracle.
Maxwell worked a miracle.
- You've gotta hand it to him. - He should have been a senator.
There's something very fishy about the man.
Sales every day while the street is torn up.
Now when it's being fixed...
I can't figure him.
- It's cold. Let's go and make some tea. - Yes, come on.
I'm hungry. I wish we were digging into a cafeteria.
When this is over, you can buy yourself a cafeteria.
- Gnaw through the woodwork. You know, Pressure...
...l'm kind of sorry we closed up the joint.
That luggage business was a soft little racket. All velvet.
We might just as well have tried to work in the Yankee Stadium.
Say, who do you suppose started all them sales?
I don't know, but I suspect sabotage.
Between Jug and his tapeworm, you and that manicurist...
...and customers oozing out of the ceiling. - You were no help getting that street fixed.
How was I gonna know that McCarthy was gonna take me seriously?
- That must be Flossie. - You and that Flossie.
Okay, Pressure. Take it away. - All right.
Hello. Flossie?
Oh, beg your pardon.
Yeah, just a minute.
Pressure, you're wanted on the phone.
What are you doing?
Take it easy, will you?
Guy named Aspinwall from the bank next door.
The bank?
Okay. Well.
Hello?
Yes, Maxwell speaking.
What, what?
What about the cellar?
Yeah, I guess so.
I see.
Yes, of course, Mr. Aspinwall.
What's up?
They're coming over to our cellar.
Holy jumping catfish. You don't think somebody tipped them off?
I don't know, but we got some fast interior decorating to do.
Here, start tossing these down to Jug, tell him to cover up that hole.
Jug. Jug!
Start piling, the joint's hot.
They're coming over to frisk us. Cover up that hole. Jug, start piling!
Why didn't you tell him we was closed for alterations?
That sign on the window won't stop a search warrant.
We gotta handle this with diplomacy.
They got a warrant?
I don't know what they got and I don't know what they want.
But I don't like it.
Come on, now, get going.
Tell him to cover up that hole, Don't let him waste any time.
Take the coveralls off, would you? Get the place in order.
Good afternoon, Mr. Maxwell. Can I come in?
- No. No, please. I, well, I...
Well, there's an exterminator inside...
...battling a horde of Norwegian rats.
But, Mr. Maxwell, it's important, we're having a party tonight.
Now, look, madam. I'm a busy man. I've got no time for café society.
But it's in your honor.
Please try to come. Everybody on the block will be there.
All right. Okay. Okay.
It's a sort of testimonial.
Yes, well, I'll try and come.
Thank you.
That woman is beginning to grow on me, like a boil.
Don't kid me. You're soft on her.
One more crack like that and I'll jam this suitcase down your throat.
Come on.
All set, Pressure.
Mr. Maxwell, I presume?
Yes, that's right.
Aspinwall is the name.
I am vice president of the Merchants City Trust next door.
- How do you do? - Mr. Bronson.
- How do you do? - Yes, yes. My partner, Mr. Davis.
Hi.
Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Oh, no. I'm just up from Valparaiso.
We're rather busy at the moment.
Would you mind stating your business?
I'll explain in just a few minutes, Mr. Maxwell.
Care if we glance through your cellar?
Oh, no.
No, not at all.
Come right ahead.
I hope you won't mind the condition of it.
We're a little upset at the moment.
Reorganizing, you know.
Yes, sir, Mr. Aspinwall. We're planning a lot of new improvements for our shop.
- Very interesting. - Putting in new fixtures and equipment.
Starting from the ground up.
Jonathan...
...this is Mr. Aspinwall from the bank next door.
Mr. Applegate is the head of our stock department.
Simple.
- Have you got the plans? - Yes, right here.
I suppose it hasn't escaped your attention, Mr. Maxwell, that your shop...
...directly adjoins our bank.
Really?
Well, that makes it all kind of cozy, doesn't it?
Mr. Bronson and I have decided...
...that it would be a simple matter to break that wall.
Simple?
I never thought of it that way.
We've given it quite a lot of thought.
In fact, we've been talking for a long time about expanding our quarters.
Now that the street's being fixed, I am authorized to make you a cash offer.
Cash offer for what?
Why, for your luggage store.
We're prepared to offer you $ 12,000. Lock, stock and barrel.
Twelve thousand dollars?
Mr. Bronson, our architect, is ready to proceed at once.
I think the figure is a fair one. How about it?
Well.
Well, I'll have to give this some thought, Mr. Aspinwall.
Offhand, I'd say the place is worth more than 12,000.
Business has exceeded our wildest expectations, hasn't it?
Yeah, sure. Why, we even gotta keep customers out of the place.
You said it.
I'm not gonna press you, Mr. Maxwell.
Just think it over and let me know what you decide.
- We'd like to break that wall soon. - Yeah, so would we.
I mean, if the price is right.
Well, I'm sure we can come to some friendly agreement.
I don't mind telling you, the bank thinks very highly of you.
Well, we think very highly of the bank. Oh, did you say of me?
Well, naturally.
Don't think we're not aware of all you've achieved for the street.
You succeeded where the rest failed.
Nothing at all. I just merely tried to combat certain unscrupulous elements.
Well, you have a genius for getting things done.
You're the man of the hour in this neighborhood.
Wish I could look in on that party for you tonight.
But if I can't make it, my congratulations now.
Thank you. Thank you.
Mr. Bronson, it's been a pleasure to meet you.
Thank you.
Same for me, Mr. Bronson.
Thank you.
Bye.
Can you imagine that guy congratulating you?
I'm entitled to congratulations. Look at all I did for the street.
You ain't falling for that, are you?
I'm not falling for anything, I know my capabilities.
With a little energy, I could be "Maxwell, the Luggage Czar of 6th Avenue."
Yeah, Maxwell the Big Shot.
Come on, gopher, get back in that hole. Weepy, start pulling up some dirt.
We wanna get into that vault before that dough turns yellow with age.
Pressure. Pressure.
Pressure, it's oil! Oil.
Oil, right in the middle of New York.
How we gonna stop this thing?
Stop it? Jug, you've struck oil, black gold!
Let it spurt, let it spurt!
- Yeah, let it gush. - Oil!
Say, this is the biggest news since the Johnstown flood.
How we gonna get a derrick down here?
We'll build one. We'll be rich like the Indians.
Say, wait a minute.
Why, you hit the fuel tank for the furnace.
So what? It's oil, ain't it?
Forget it!
Gee, for a minute, we was millionaires.
What's that, the bell?
- Stay where you are, you're covered. - Don't shoot, I got no rod.
- Smitty. - Pressure.
- Jug. - It's like old home week.
How are you, Weepy?
- What's the camouflage for? - Huh? Oh...
It's merely an experiment.
It's paint. We're doing a little oil painting.
Gee, fellows, I thought you was rolling the joint. Like me.
We ain't rolling. We're...
We're just redecorating it for a friend of ours.
- Redecorating? - Mm-hm.
What kind of racket is that?
Oh, paints and varnishes. It's a living.
How's it with you, babe?
I'm on my heels.
You didn't even prowl. I could have told you there wasn't a buck in the till.
If there ain't any moo in the damper, what are you guys smearing around for?
Well, you know how it is, you're trying to squeeze a few nickels together.
Pressure, could I...?
Could I put the bite on you for a fin? I ain't even got eat money.
Oh, sure, sure, son. Anything for an o...
Come with me, will you? I'll get a bag that'll raise some dough.
Grab one of these. Take it down to Marty's. Ought to raise a few seeds.
Hey, they ain't hot, are they?
Now, would I cross an old teammate?
- Go on, now. Help yourself. - Thanks, Pressure. You're a right gee.
Holy smoke.
Why, it's full of dirt.
Pay dirt. An Alaskan miner left it here. Wait a minute, I'll give you... Grab this one.
Much obliged, Pressure.
I'll tell Leo I run into you.
- Leo? - Sure, I correspond letters with him.
- Is Leo sprung too? - No, poor fellow.
- They put the hammer on his parole. - My, my. That's a pity.
- It's too bad. - That's tough.
Well, cheerio.
Oh, Smitty. Smitty.
- How did we make out in the Elmira game? - We lose. Gee, we missed you guys.
I'll send Leo your regards.
I don't like that. Leo ain't no guy to send regards to.
- Suppose Smitty tips him off. - Forget it, will you?
Leo's 150 miles away and in a striped suit.
Trouble around here is there's many undesirables dropping in.
What we need is some kind of a signal.
Mm.
Well, okay.
Now, one of us will stay up here while the others are working.
Anybody comes in...
...just rap on the radiator like this:
That means "stop." When they've cleared out:
Two taps. That means "go ahead."
Now, Weepy. Better get cleaned up. You'll take the first shift. Come on, Jug.
Okay.
We ought to be in there by Christmas.
What's up?
Hold it. We got company.
Anybody we know?
Where's Mr. Maxwell?
He can't see anybody, he's very, very busy.
- But, look, it's very important... - Can't you...?
- Can't you come back in a month? - No way.
There he is. Surprise!
You wouldn't come to our party so we brought the party to you.
To the guest of honor. The man who put a smile on our street.
- Gloria fixed this bread fit for a king. - Yes, but I'm not hungry.
Well, have a drink. Uncut liquor direct from my store to you.
- There. - Don't mind if I do.
Where were you yesterday? I waited till after 8.
Well, sugar, I was in a kind of a hole.
Tell me. Did you concoct these little tidbits?
- Yes. - Well, not bad. Not bad at all.
Well, Gloria, my dear, you have a great culinary talent.
Say, Maxwell, you think you can open in a couple of days?
We're planning a big splash Thursday for the reopening of the street.
Every store on the block decked out in Christmas colors like a regular fiesta.
Yeah.
Well, I don't know, my good neighbors. You see, I'll have to consult my partner.
Oh, try and make it, Max. We're all putting on the show together.
Well, greetings and hosannas from Hotchkiss.
The Hotchkiss representative, folks. Jeff Randolph.
- Hello. - How do you do?
- And Ms. Costello. - Hello.
Well, the man of the moment, eh?
I see that everybody is here.
- Allow me to be last to congratulate you. - Thank you, son.
- Step up and have some. - Thanks, I will.
How are you, baby, huh?
I see you've been giving the family a good name.
Say, there's something I've been wanting to ask you. It's about all these sales.
I thought they were adorable, Pressure. They were positively inspired.
Say, in regards to those sales, tell me something.
How can you afford to give away two $ 10 articles for $ 11?
Well, that's a trade secret.
There are lots of things that foxy Maxwell doesn't tell.
Like the offer he got from the bank this morning. I know all about it.
An offer from the bank? For what?
Nothing at all. They're offering to buy my luggage shop for a mere 12,000.
- Come and have something. - I wish it would happen to me.
Well, there's no end to what you can do now.
You could walk in the door of the bank with your head up.
Instead of digging under.
Well, yeah, sure. That's exactly what he said. Unlimited credit. Anytime I want it.
Who's the man that turned the trick for us?
Maxwell.
- And who told McCarthy where to get off? - Maxwell.
Well, let's have a little speech.
- Come on, Mr. Maxwell. Speech. Speech. Speech.
Come on. Give us a speech.
I'm not very good at fashioning words.
Yeah, we want more to hear from our great friend.
Well, friends. I'd be a man of iron...
...if this demonstration didn't warm the cockles of my heart.
You know, a month ago, I came into your midst. Perfect stranger.
Hoping to eke out an honest existence.
The world hadn't been too kind to me.
I may have seemed aloof, embittered, antisocial.
But, you know, in that month, I've come to learn...
...that there's something much more important than material gain.
Something infinitely more precious than all the gold...
...that reposes in that bank vault next door.
Friendship.
It's that bond that tears down all barriers.
That breaks down all the stone walls that lie between one neighbor and another.
If I've done something to make this street a better place to live on...
...do business on.
Well, I'm more than amply rewarded by your friendship, by your trust...
...and your confidence.
- Mr. Maxwell. - Yes?
It isn't much, but we all chipped in...
...and bought you this little token of our gratitude.
Oh, gosh.
Thanks.
I guess that's all I can say.
Come on, everybody. Who's a jolly good fellow?
Maxwell.
Ready?
One, two...
I'm telling you, Leo. The bag was full of dirt.
They're digging into that vault.
So he wasn't interested in the bank, was he?
Giving me that con about going straight.
Time's up.
- Well, I'll be seeing you, Leo. - Yeah. Sooner than you think.
Eight, nine, 10.
But I gave you a 20.
- Sorry. Try your luck again, jack. - Thank you.
Easy on that stuff, will you? We're keeping legitimate.
You and your Christmas sales.
I don't know what we're horsing around for. We got a fortune downstairs.
Well, these merchants put me on the spot with their grand reopening.
Yeah, greasing you up and you been falling for it.
It doesn't hurt to cash in on holiday business, does it?
It's all velvet. That vault isn't running away.
- Oh, here you are, madam. - Thank you.
Lovely stock, isn't it?
- Anything I can do for you, sir? - I wish a bag.
Well, come right along with me. Anything on this order?
Something on that order. That... That Gallstone.
Gallstone. Oh, you mean a Gladstone, sir.
What is the price on the tag?
- Ten dollars. - Ten dollars?
Why, I have searched high and low for a buy like this.
This is wonderful.
Mercy me, a $ 10 bill.
Well, this is your lucky day.
The bag costs 10, you win 10.
Everybody has a chance.
- Shall I wrap it up? - Oh, no, no, no. I'll take it as is. Beautiful.
Well, believe it or not, baby. We took in 950 honest American dollars today.
You know, Pressure, we ought to have a Christmas tree.
The other stores got red and green lights.
And bells too.
They can have the bells. We'll take the customers.
Five hundred and thirty-five net profit. And that, boys and girls, ain't steam heat.
Well, if you think today was good, you just watch our smoke.
Didn't tell you, but the bank raised to 15 grand.
When they get to 20, we're selling.
- Selling? - Sure.
You don't think we're gonna sweat our lives away in this crummy cavern.
We'll open up a new place. Expand.
We're gonna make this town cowhide-conscious.
And you can do it too, Pressure.
What is this? You changing your mind about the bank?
It's a smart operator who knows when to change his mind.
Why, that bank is chicken feed...
...compared to the possibilities of this business.
- We're gonna go straight? - Now, look, stupid.
You wanna spend the rest of your life ducking dark alleys with hot money?
Hiding away in some grubby hotel room for a measly hundred G's?
- What's wrong with that? - It's okay if you've got nothing better.
But we've got a chance to be merchant princes.
You know what financiers take in in one year?
- No. - Millions.
- They do? - Not counting the byproducts.
How do you like that?
Say, maybe we've been wasting our time.
Sure, that's what I've been trying to tell you.
Matter of fact, I've got a great idea for this entire block.
Every merchant incorporated under my banner.
The Maxwell Shopping Center.
Run on the principles of a department store. Every shop a unit.
Why, we'll all be typhoons.
That's my Hotchkiss man. Bye, see you tomorrow.
Do you have to go, Denny?
Yes, good night, Jug.
- By the way, Pressure... - Yeah?
Jeff didn't wanna mention it, but he's already sold you three orders.
Well, it's only the beginning. Tell you what.
Tell the lad to pop in tomorrow and he'll see evidence of my good faith.
Okay. Goodbye, all you filthy capitalists.
Pressure, I'll buy this new racket, but I don't wanna be no shill.
- I wanna be a salesman. - You'll be a salesman.
Another thing. I want a book and pencil and blue suit and flower like Weepy's got.
What for? You can't write.
I can make a mark, can't I?
You know, Pressure, I didn't do so bad today: 29 sales.
Yeah? And who helped you?
- All right, you helped. What do you want...? - Now, now, boys. No quarreling, now.
Tomorrow, I'll put up a chart and there'll be a bonus for top honors.
Leo.
When did you get out?
We... We thought you was up for another two years.
No, I got leave of absence.
I said to the warden, "There's pals of mine trying to pull a fast one."
So he said, "Sure, Leo, sure. Go out and look them up."
You mean, you crashed out?
Well, holy smoke, Leo, you're in an awful spot.
No, I'm not. You are.
Hey, now, wait a minute, Leo.
You know, you've got the wrong idea.
We're in the luggage business, legitimately.
Sure. It's just a coincidence the bank I steered you to is next door.
Oh, is there a bank next door?
Well, I tell you, I'm a respected merchant...
...on this block, you know. Just like any of the shopkeepers.
- Show me the cellar. - Now, Leo...
- Show me the cellar. - Take it easy.
I'll admit, we once toyed with the idea of whittling our way into the bank.
Still slinging that fancy spiel around?
- We were just trying it out for you. - Sure, Leo.
- We was just doing the heavy lifting. - Yeah, blazing the trail, you might say.
Hurry up, open the door.
Respectable businessman, huh?
- I ought to shoot your lying belly. - Wait, Leo. You've been like a son to me.
Now, you wouldn't shoot your own father, would you?
Sure, if he was a rat like you.
Leo, you're wanted. You'll need every friend you've got.
The only friend I need is dough.
This luggage business is a gold mine, we'll cut you in.
What are you trying to do, buy me off?
You can have all the dough you want.
You bet I can. And you monkeys are gonna get it for me.
How, Leo?
- You're gonna blow it out of that vault. - Madness.
Yeah, there's a whole foundation wall in front of it.
Joint's crawling with burglar alarms, it's tighter than Fort Knox.
We'll put enough soup in to blow up Boulder Dam.
- Leo... - And you too, if you don't shut up.
Now, listen, listen straight. I'm taking over here.
From now on, I'm giving the orders. Get in there.
First monkey that tries anything gets this, understand?
- Sure, Leo. - How about you?
I didn't say nothing.
A gang of porch climbers trying to outsmart me.
You guys couldn't steal a towel out of a hotel without my help.
- Hello, Smitty? - So it was Smitty.
This is Leo.
Hop down to Phil's and pick up that can of soup.
See you back at your place in a half an hour. Yeah.
Well...
...l'm leaving you boys for a while.
Don't get any ideas.
You heard what I said.
How do you like that?
Just when I'm gonna get a book and a pencil like Weepy's got.
- He wants us to go back to a life of crime. - Well, not me.
I'm gonna tell him off when he gets back.
Yeah, like you told him off just now.
Well, I've gotta have time to think things over.
We're not gonna give up a lucrative business just to hide out.
I don't like fooling around with Leo. He'd shoot his grandmother.
We don't have to fool around with anybody.
Our best bet is to clear out of here.
- Leave this sweet little setup? - We had an offer from the bank, 15,000?
If we rush that deal through tomorrow morning...
...we exit with enough dough to open a new place.
Well, Leo can play with firecrackers, I'm a businessman.
- Yeah, so is Leo. - Yeah.
Now, look, Aspinwall, you offered us 15,000, we refused.
We'll accept it on one condition.
- What's that? - We get the cash before tonight.
Well, that's a bit irregular, Mr. Maxwell.
There are papers to be signed, legal aspects to be checked.
Can't we eliminate all that red tape?
I'm offering the bank a bargain at that price, and all I ask is quick action.
But this is such an awkward time. Tomorrow's Christmas.
The bank's closed.
Surely you can wait till after the holidays.
I can, but my mother can't.
- Your mother? - Yes, poor woman.
She hasn't far to go.
I thought I'd make a trip to her bedside, out in Nebraska.
You know, sort of surprise her for Christmas.
That's why I want the money fast.
Well, that's very praiseworthy, Mr. Maxwell.
Knowing bank procedures, I'd say it was impossible to conclude the deal...
...on such short notice.
Well, okay. It's your funeral.
How did you make out?
No good.
Can't let us have the dough till next week.
Sorry, madam, sold out.
Why did you do that? I could have sold her a luggage.
Put that book away, we've gotta think up an angle before Leo gets back.
He's a fugitive from justice. Why don't we call the police?
Leo shows them the hole in the cellar and we all wind up back in the pen.
What are you all so afraid of Leo for? I'll bust him in half.
Oh, sure, with three bullets in you.
Leo hasn't anything to lose.
He'll blow that vault and he isn't letting anybody stand in his way.
- What do you suggest, Pressure? - The situation calls for strategy.
If we could only get rid of this mess, get our hands on dough and pull out.
Sorry, brother, we're out to lunch.
- Bigelow. - Hello, Mr. Maxwell.
How do you do, gentlemen? Just dropped back to see the old place.
- I've been in Florida. - So I heard.
Yes, I've heard about you too, Mr. Maxwell.
Sam, Mr. Bachrach, told me the wonderful success you've been having.
It's the same old place.
It was like home to me for 20 years.
Missed it, haven't you?
Mr. Maxwell, you have no idea.
- I've been like a lost sheep. - Yeah.
Must be in my blood.
Tell me, Bigelow, how would you like to buy your store back?
You're just fooling, Mr. Maxwell.
I know the business you've been doing.
Don't see how you could do it in this place.
You've heard of the Maxwell Shopping Center?
Yes, Sam told me about it.
Well, it's gonna consume all of my time and energy.
A man in that position can't be bothered with a luggage store.
I can think of nobody I'd rather turn this little gold mine over to than Homer Bigelow.
Mr. Maxwell, I haven't enough money to pay what you'd ask now.
Now, I'll be the best judge of that.
Tell me, how much cash have you got?
- Well, about 2000. - Two thou...?
Psst. - Hm?
It's Leo.
Well, make it 3000. Bring it here tonight and it's a deal.
- This is so fast. - You want the store, don't you?
- Yes, of course. - Well, I'll hold it for you until 9:00 tonight.
Oh, and just a moment. Here, with my compliments.
Merry Christmas. See you soon.
Customers, then more customers.
The wheels of industry never stop.
Lock that door.
Now, Leo...
...you can't shut down a thriving establishment. It'll create suspicion.
I don't want monkeys sticking their noses in. I got things to do.
Where do I stash this? It's burning holes in me fingers.
Put it in the cellar. Hey, give Smitty a hand. You, close them blinds.
Now, Leo, you're asking for trouble, now.
We've gotta make a pretense of staying open.
Everyone will want to know what's cooking
How late do they hang around?
Well, this is Christmas Eve. I should say about 9:00.
Okay, then, we'll blow into the vault at 11.
Hey, Leo. Leo, maybe we ought to postpone this until tomorrow.
This is Christmas Eve, people are wandering around.
We're taking a chance...
I'm taking a chance every second I hang around.
We're crashing in tonight, as soon as this thing is set.
Hey, get back out there.
It's cold. I got icicles hanging all over me.
You gotta keep your eyes peeled for Bigelow.
Suppose he don't wanna give me the money.
Keep him from coming in, we'll take care of it.
Once we get that dough, we can clear out of here before Leo blasts.
Get back, Leo thinks you're a lookout.
An Eskimo, that's what I am. An Eskimo.
Jug?
- Any sign of Bigelow? - He ain't showed yet.
He'll be here. He promised.
Leo is getting set to blast downstairs, we gotta stall him.
- Oh, I see the problem, strategy. - Jug, you can help.
I want you to start a fight. He won't blast if there's a crowd around.
Okay, Pressure.
I don't like your face.
Oh, hush. Everybody says that.
- Merry Christmas. - Well, merry...
Go on, you drunk, go home.
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
Here.
Pick them up yourself.
Come, now. That's no way for Saint Nick to talk.
Don't give me that lip, I'll bust you in the teeth.
This is very distasteful to me, but if I have to.
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Hey, you gotta get another lookout, Jug got himself slugged.
- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas, merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas. - And merry Christmas to you, Santa.
Don't blow, ye winter wives, don't blow.
The icy hand of Jack Frost is abroad tonight.
Good evening, sir. Officer O'Casey's the name.
How are you?
Give it a little hit, the plumbing's on the fritz.
Hold it, they just gave us the three-rap.
I saw a light, dropped in to see if everything's okay.
- Oh, everything's fine. - Good. Where's Maxwell?
Believe it or not, officer, I'm Maxwell.
- You? - Playing Santa Claus for the neighborhood.
- I'll be darned. - Which reminds me...
...that we merchants can't do enough for the guardians of our safety.
Weepy, that morocco leather bag.
Oh, thank you. There you are, with my compliments.
- And a very merry Christmas. - Why, gosh, thanks.
Well, I won't be causing you no more bother.
No, no bother at all. Just take your coat off, make yourself at home.
Not tonight, Maxwell. I gotta pound that beat.
Now, wait, officer. Now, just thaw out a little.
- Your married, aren't you? - Eight years.
Eight years. Well, here.
Something for the little woman.
Well, now, Mr. Maxwell.
Not at all, not at all. Children?
Three of them, and one due in April.
Bless them, bless them. One due in April?
Bless you. Well, they'll be leaving on weekends soon. What's their names?
- Johnny. - This is for Johnny.
- And Willie. - This is for Willie.
- And Patty. - Oh, yes, mustn't forget Patty.
And this is for the one that's due in April.
Well, thanks a lot, Maxwell.
Well, good night.
What happened?
Pay no attention to him, officer.
An unfortunate derelict we picked up in the gutter.
I'm thinking of adopting him.
Get back in there, boy. Get in there, lad. Get in there, now.
- Put on that new suit I bought you. - What suit?
The gray one.
You're a fine man, Maxwell. Well, merry Christmas.
Wouldn't you like me to wrap them?
Oh, no, no. This is fine, thanks.
- Oh, no trouble. - Merry Christmas to all of you.
- Good night. - Good night.
- That bull blow? - Yeah.
Okay, Leo.
- We're all set. The car ready? - Down the block.
Leo, this is folly. The neighborhood is alive with humanity.
- Lock that door. - Well...
I told you to lock it.
I didn't recognize you at first, Mr. Maxwell.
Oh, you got the wrong party, Mac.
Oh, no. You can't fool me, even in that costume.
I'm sorry I'm late. Here's the money.
What's that money for? - For the store.
Mr. Maxwell's selling me the store back.
- What kind of a shuffle is this? - Well, I figured...
...we wouldn't be needing it anymore after tonight.
A little extra revenue never hurt anybody.
- Penny here... - Get him out of here.
Oh, no, not now. Now that I got the store again...
...I got loads of things to do.
But don't let me break up the party, gentlemen.
I just want to check some things.
- Where'll I stash him? Behind the counter.
Weepy, give him a hand, hurry up.
God rest ye, merry gentlemen. Help the Mission Singers.
- Beat it. - Now, wait, after all, this is Christmas Eve.
Here you are, my good man. Merry Christmas.
- Thank you, sir. - All right...
Oh, just...
Music.
This is from my friend.
Do you know another one?
All right, beat it. Peddle that down the street.
- Don't you want another song...? - Come on, get moving. Come on, get out.
Thank you, gentlemen. Merry Christmas to you.
Yeah, merry Christmas to you. Go on, get out.
Weepy, Jug. You, bring the car out in front.
You, keep that sidewalk clear.
- What's that? - It's the burglar alarm.
- Why, you stinking little... - Now, wait...
- You double-crosser. That's the last... - Wait a minute, Leo.
Come on, let's get going.
Where's Pressure? - He's gonna meet us, step on it.
We better wait. - I said, step on it.
Over here.
Okay, drop it.
Leo Dexter, fancy meeting you here.
All right, come on, let's get out. Come on.
What, we go through a red light?
Never mind your red light, come on.
- Now, wait a minute. - Come on. Come on.
Mr. Maxwell's assistants.
That's us, Maxwell's assistants. We was forced into this.
- At the point of a gun. - We'll see.
Look, the store is on fire.
Where do you think you're going?
- Come on, now. - Back up. Get back. Back up.
- Where's Mr. Maxwell? - I don't...
Hey, you, where is he?
He's out cold on the floor. Leo slugged him.
Holy smoke, that little guy Bigelow's in there too.
- Bigelow! - Bigelow. Bigelow!
Bigelow.
Come with me. Come with me.
Get back. Get in there.
What's happened?
It's Leo. We didn't wanna do nothing dishonest, honest.
- Where's Pressure? - He's in there with Bigelow.
Take these irons off, my pal's there.
- Let's get him out! Get him out! Somebody get him out!
- Why, it's Mr. Maxwell. - And Bigelow.
Call an ambulance.
I got you.
Are you all right?
Sure.
Sure, honey.
Here's a little Christmas present for you...
...and Hotchkiss.
It's elegant, Pressure. Like a skyscraper.
Only the beginning. I got plans, fabulous plans for us.
This is the first link in a vast chain of enterprises.
Link like that runs into dough. Where we gonna glom onto the cabbage?
Oh, 50,000 down. The rest of the credit, I've made arrangements for.
- Fifty G's. - It's peanuts, peanuts.
The judge says we're on good behavior.
Well, sure we are.
Where we gonna raise 50 G's on good behavior?
I've got that all figured out. Wait a minute.
See those large lumbering vehicles?
- Buses. - Yes, well...
...every one of them is a rolling gold mine.
Pressure, I ain't gonna get hit by no buses.
- We're shooting for big stakes. - Them things is murder.
They're two stories high, got eight wheels.
It isn't often I call on you for sacrifice.
- I'd rather get hit by the Chrysler Building. - Would I send you to get hurt?
Why, Jug, you're like a son to me. You're really more like my own flesh and blood.
Okay, Pressure.
Blood? No, no, it's out, I won't do it.
Well, okay, forget it. I make a simple request and see what happens.
- The white feather. - Yeah, the...
Weepy, will you perform the noble deed?
Oh, no, Pressure, that's not my line.
Well, all right, this is the finish.
We go our separate ways.
- We witnessed this entire outrage! - As a respectable citizen, I demand...
- Come on, let's get out of here. - Ain't we gonna settle?
Come on, back up on the sidewalk. Come on.
- Hey, you. - Just a minute.
.